Resolution?

What is there to a resolution?
If it is made on the spur of a moment,
Do we take action?
rather than say which is so common.

-Haze

Another new year?for me it is related to the year of teaching a new cohort of pupils....that is what it is......people are so aware of the new year 2006, however do they still know and are aware of what is hijrah(Islamic year) ?..........the year 2006A.D signifies the year of the Christian calendar...yeah of course it symbolises after the death of Jesus Christ...just as Christmas is presented as the year that Jesus was born to them...I am perturbed by the ignorance.....haiz......well I expect opposing views over this......whatever the comments are going to be, I accept it open heartedly...I guess nobody cares of the 1426 Hijrah eh...hmm...I have better cease on my caustic view....


Uphill

DOES the road wind uphill all the way?
Yes, to the very end.
Will the day's journey take the whole long day?
From morn to night, my friend.

But is there for the night a resting-place?
A roof for when the slow, dark hours begin.
May not the darkness hide it from my face?
You cannot miss that inn.

Shall I meet other wayfarers at night?
Those who have gone before.
Then must I knock, or call when just in sight?
They will not keep you waiting at that door.

Shall I find comfort, travel-sore and weak?
Of labour you shall find the sum.
Will there be beds for me and all who seek?
Yea, beds for all who come.

Christina Georgina Rossetti
 



The past few days had been in TNS....in preparation for next year's school calender of events...I was not expecting to take Arts and Crafts again...I am not adept at it....the number of school staff is larger than MTS....at least at MTS, we knew each other....albeit at TNS....everybody is a stranger...some are aloof......but I project a big smile on my face to everyone that I see....Abah imbued in me from young that being humble, cordial and putting in hard work are the cures to all ills....I do not know whetherhis advice is true ....I'll stick to it collectively....to face all the challenges and resolve conflicts are better than avoiding them......rather than denial and wanting everything to be perfect...that was what N told me when I dropped by his flower shop during that time.....I appreciate your advice N...I should have listened to you and J's warning many years ago...but I did not heed it....well life is a chest full of lessons....and behind every trial of life, there is hikmah....hmmm.......


Down

Trying to reach the surface,
For a breath of fresh air,
So harsh is life's race,
This troubled entity does not dare.

-Haze

I am so...not looking forward when school reopens next Tuesday..I can't bring myself to repeat the mundane routine of teaching and studying...it really saps the energy out of me....this is the option I had taken and therefore the ultimate sacrifice I am undergoing..I do not know how tomorrow's staff meeting will turn out..these past few days, I have been a teensy weensy queasy..an alien environment with new colleagues...new challenges..and whatever crap that will be confronted..I am apprehensive..hmmm..haiz.Syawalina at random does make me smile..the snapshot show her at nearly 2 months old..hmm




Tranquil

A search for peace,
A space to be alone,
The soul on the freeze,
So cold to the bone......

-Haze

I require time to be solitary...to regain the composure......


End of the Road

Looking at this life's trail,
Standing at the end of the road,
Thinking whether love will fail,
What can be done to keep it afloat?

-Haze

I am filled with fervour as Hus and I are catching that anticipated movie tomorrow- The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe...if we are Harry Potter fans, we are becoming the fans of this Narnia thingy too..I will prolly buy the book as well to satiate this famished desire for reading...if I could complete reading the Half Blood Prince story in a day(definitely there were interim breaks,me not a duffer, mind you,heh), why shouldn't I accomplish it at the same period?....hm..as for the content of the poem...prolly I am bereft of it...what do you think?..hmm




Loathe

Vaccuming all the dust,
Cleaning and wiping,
Why housework is a must?
It is utterly stressing!

-Haze

Thank goodness I am not a housewife.......but I guess I will have to be 'that' someday....but not a full time housewife though...juggling between teaching and commitments towards the hubby and children....it gives me the jeepers and creepers....if u can't beat them, join them..urghhh...hmmmm..women of today are unlike the generation of yesterday......modern, independent, level headed and able to churn out the dough.....but men will still be the main breadwinners nonetheless.....hurhurhurhur......do you catch the drift, Iman?so where is my Braun Buffel purse that you have promised all along ehh....hmmmphhh


...Hus called me and told me that the results were out..I was outside at that time..anticipated that I did not do well......logged on the portal....and...phew......passed all the modules taken...did not expect to attain good grades for some of the modules...alhamdulilah Hus n I cleared the semester...well another year of studying and working again...more busier next year as TNS is embarking on something big...YIKES....


Nature

In this standstill nature,
Towers gigantic trees and wildlife,
With it two women are in rapture,
Making dead souls come alive...

-Haze

.....What a day it was ........3 hours of trekking in the sweet smelling nature reserve with Eton...attended to a personal matter and afterwards met some friends and chit chatted at Esplanade and ate at Makansutra..the food is mediocre...unlike Lau Pa Sat..and lost me old speckies at Esplanade..yep..too engrossed in conversation..goodness gracious that I had worn my new speckies by then..pheww...forgetful me...hmmm...well let the pics do the talking ehh...


before the entrance to the nature trail....a nature so vast and tranquil..it caught my breath away...there were watersports activities being conducted...I think it was canoeing...super huh..



I was charmed by the peaceful ambience of the reservoir itself with the trees enshrouding it.....just....fabulous....all the stress melted away instantly at the sight...... 



Long tailed macaques...rather mischievious bunch while we were at the Petai trail boardwalk at Macritchie..other fauna we encountered were squirrels, a rather large monitor lizard(Eton was scared out of her wits), large black ants,tortoises and shoals of fish.....such a variety right at the doorstep of Singapore's urban jungle..........just...WOW! 



What an adventure! 



Juggle

Encompassed in life's urban jungle,
Haunting a spirit so feeble,
Troubled by this life's juggle,
The flesh burning the mind tremble.....

-Haze

I am restrained by life's persistent chase of materialism and self-indulgence of greed......I have to break free and pacify this troubled mien in nature's grasp.......Macritchie nature reserve beckons to me....hmmmm


Frost at Midnight
Samuel Taylor Coleridge


The Frost performs its secret ministry,
Unhelped by any wind. The owlet's cry
Came loud---and hark, again! loud as before.
The inmates of my cottage, all at rest,
Have left me to that solitude, which suits
Abstruser musings: save that at my side
My cradled infant slumbers peacefully.
`Tis calm indeed! so calm, that it disturbs
And vexes meditation with its strange
And extreme silentness. Sea, hill, and wood,
This populous village! Sea, and hill, and wood,
With all the numberless goings-on of life,
Inaudible as dreams! the thin blue flame
Lies on my low-burnt fire, and quivers not;
Only that film, which fluttered on the grate,
Still flutters there, the sole unquiet thing.
Methinks, its motion in this hush of nature
Gives it dim sympathies with me who live,
Making it a companionable form,
Whose puny flaps and freaks the idling Spirit
By its own moods interprets, every where
Echo or mirror seeking of itself,
And makes a toy of Thought.

But O! how oft,
How oft, at school, with most believing mind,
Presageful, have I gazed upon the bars,
To watch that fluttering stranger! and as oft
With unclosed lids, already had I dreamt
Of my sweet birth-place, and the old church-tower,
Whose bells, the poor man's only music, rang
>From morn to evening, all the hot Fair-day,
So sweetly, that they stirred and haunted me
With a wild pleasure, falling on mine ear
Most like articulate sounds of things to come!
So gazed I, till the soothing things, I dreamt,
Lulled me to sleep, and sleep prolonged my dreams!
And so I brooded all the following morn,
Awed by the stern preceptor's face, mine eye
Fixed with mock study on my swimming book:
Save if the door half opened, and I snatched
A hasty glance, and still my heart leaped up,
For still I hoped to see the stranger's face,
Townsman, or aunt, or sister more beloved,
My play-mate when we both were clothed alike!

Dear Babe, that sleepest cradled by my side,
Whose gentle breathings, heard in this deep calm,
Fill up the interspersed vacancies
And momentary pauses of the thought!
My babe so beautiful! it thrills my heart
With tender gladness, thus to look at thee,
And think that thou shall learn far other lore,
And in far other scenes! For I was reared
In the great city, pent 'mid cloisters dim,
And saw nought lovely but the sky and stars.
But thou, my babe! shalt wander like a breeze
By lakes and sandy shores, beneath the crags
Of ancient mountain, and beneath the clouds,
Which image in their bulk both lakes and shores
And mountain crags: so shalt thou see and hear
The lovely shapes and sounds intelligible
Of that eternal language, which thy God
Utters, who from eternity doth teach
Himself in all, and all things in himself.
Great universal Teacher! he shall mould
Thy spirit, and by giving make it ask.

Therefore all seasons shall be sweet to thee,
Whether the summer clothe the general earth
With greenness, or the redbreast sit and sing
Betwixt the tufts of snow on the bare branch
Of mossy apple-tree, while the nigh thatch
Smokes in the sun-thaw; whether the eave-drops fall
Heard only in the trances of the blast,
Or if the secret ministry of frost
Shall hang them up in silent icicles,
Quietly shining to the quiet Moon. 



Joyful

A baby brings much mirth,
From the Almighty it's a responsibility,
The mother labours with birth,
A joyful union of serenity.

-Haze

Headed to Tampines Mall to purchase the gift shared with fiz for the baby and then anxiously combed the shopping mall for a florist shop for a bouquet of flowers for the new mother but to no avail.Resolved to proceed to White Sands and managed to get the beautiful bouquet from an old friend...it had been a long time I had not seen him...he was manning the shop alone and we chit chatted...yep, he does beautiful bouquets and superb handiwork...I was in a haste and hurriedly paid him....thanx N...send my regards to J okay...heh...n headed on to the hospital...met fiz and her cousin...n then we visited Herda and her newborn.....awwwwww........babies are so cute yaa...with their little fingers and tiny feet..in the pink and blue bundles and the sweet scents of babies...just lovable.....hmmm


Awwwww......she's yawning in the arms of fiz...her eyes looks like the father......herda is one lucky mother...hmmm 



Fiz carrying the lil' flower....her eyes are huge...breathtakingly adorable 



Ain't this bouquet adorable with the little bear in the midst......it's for Herda from me and fiz...I simply love flowers....



Gleeful

All around there are flowers,
Falling from the heavenly sky,
Blithe and serenity showers,
The glumness and worry die.

-Haze

What a fruitful past few days that I had....met Hus two days ago...treated her to an eating frenzy after that Spotlight 'workout'..heh.I spend the next two days with Abah's family...shopping(did not splurge and purchased things unnecessarily) , drove around and ate. Moments ago, I dropped by my previous workplace and visited my close ex-colleagues...I do that randomly...it's lovely to see them.....updating each other, casual banters and observing the antics of..ahemm... a variety of pax....heh...bumping into the 'abangs'....they are the other lot of ex-colleagues who looked out for me...I was one of the rare roses among the numerous thorns per say....I truly missed those memorable days of yesteryears......nonetheless.....an alteration was required....and I do not regret that.....I still put to good use though the skills I acquired from the previous journey....learnt to be morally principled, disciplined and obsequious from them......hmmm..


Yeah..it can be guessed on my previous profession..I wasn't in customer service but worked behind the scenes...those who knew me way before should know the specific occupation that I did...heh...that's Izan in the 'fish tank' as it's termed by the commuters..



My ex-colleague, Izan...I took another pic with Eton but I respect her request of not displaying her pic here... 



This is the ikan sambal kicap ......very finger licking smacking good...yummy 



lauk lemak siput..where else if not the famous Hajjah Maimunah at Jalan Pisang...the mouth watering sambal belacan with the salad plus that Malay vegetable of which I have no clue what it is named...hurhurhur 



me n my sis shopping at Plaza Singapure again.. 



Reverie

Waking from a deep slumber,
Riddled with scary nightmares,
Trying the best to clamber,
The light at the end that glares.

-Haze

Caught 'Chicken Little' today....took ice-cream yet again at Swensen.........yeah the sweet tooth..hurhurhur...bought some IT products at Challenger plus Bodyshop products and making of a new pair of spectacles...plus some other personal stuff of which I should have completed eons ago...hehehe...the spending spree has turned me to a shopholic...nonetheless, my frugal nature is still intact...tomorrow catching up with Hus for a well deserved outing...see u ehh..and either Thursday or Friday will be meeting up with Azian and her daughter for a belated out of the festive season visit to Noi's abode..hmm (checks the planner)...


Runt of the Litter, Abby Mallard(ugly Duckling) and Chicken Little...watched 'Chicken Little' today with my younger siblings..Runt of the Litter really tickles me funny bones with his pint sized legs supporting his huge body and his out of this world fainting spells..in addition of his obsession with catchy songs from the 70's...hurhurhur...reminds me of Wilbur,the little runt in Charlotte's Web....even the Mister ever so cool Porcupine draws my attention...heh...and lastly Abby Mallard, the 'Jongang' duck...she's one swell of a brilliant duck....alas, the major character, Chicken Little was lacklustre in his character...however, the movie was simply smashing.



The ultimate wish.... 



Angel

Adorned in white garb and these cupped hands,
In the direction of the Kaabah,
To Allah s.w.t this prayer sends,
with the tidings of blessings and berkah.

-Haze

Is repentance in me?Can the taubah extends and reside in me before the time of death approaches and terminates this animated entity?I have scoured for tranquility and forgiveness from the Almighty....or pessimistic emotions annexed me?....I just am perplexed...hmm..


Supercillious

Humans blinded by own pursuits of lies,
Too materialistic and supercilious?
Is it time we open our eyes?
Contribute and be selfless.

-Haze

I can't comprehend why I am penning this,I am not acute in observation,however, I am aware of whatever happens around me...many issues of haughtiness, marriages gone sour, pretense,suicide and selfishness.I tried to arrest my mind from worthless thoughts of these matters, alas, it haunts and stalks me..I can't bring myself to being bumptious such as donning on thick makeup just to look exquisitely glamorous or a stunner, as if hiding the flaws, I am what I am, and pretending to be someone else, just to be known and approved, is not my cup of tea..in the past, someone used to coerce me to be a person that I was not, and thank Allah, it was over. ..and I guess whatever was said behind my back at that time, warrant me a bad reputation among the past bloggers here, but I don't care, because of what that ignoramus mentioned or gossiped, do not mirror of who I really am. Life's path, to my opinion, is full with ardous terrain to overcome and I accept it....package and all.I have experienced enough and Allah s.w.t is the Saviour...I do have flaws, who doesn't, but with these imperfections I work upon my strengths...well that's enoughto be expressed here.




An illusion

A past never to be disintered,
Shrouded underneath mounds of earth,
A heart locked not to be entered,
Dissolved and washed away all the mirth.

-Haze

The past is smouldered.....like a harlequin of pure silk incinerated......most of the exuberance that had all along dwelled in me vanished.....the life's path.


Holiday

The wrought body aches,
The mind on an overdrive,
A short break it takes,
for another year to survive.

-Haze

Should I take a break?I don't want to coerce myself to accompany Abah's family to Genting...just detest that place.....an exotic holiday paradise instead?Mauritius getaway or a hideaway in nature?maybe a longhouse stay in Sarawak or Sabah, surrounded by nature's foliage and mingling with the fauna(love animals)..trekking and hiking....how I wish..alas....it's not meant for this December....probably next December..or an alternative for that December is a short umrah....that wish have to wait...well..last resort....head to Night Safari then to gawk at the nocturnal animals to compensate for that awaited dream....for now, just enclose myself in this pressured little island ehh..working myself into a paroxysm...well next week will be packed with meeting Hus, Thea and treating my siblings to Singapore's dreary idiosyncrasies ehh.....What a life...


Kismet?

See the blue sky,
The white clouds sailing,
the heart ain't gonna cry,
as the memory is fading.

-Haze


My colleague at MTS put a smile on my face today...she gave me three favourite things as a farewell gift package...comprising of a CD, delectable appetizing After Eight chocolate and that cute pen....thanx Mrs Theresa Ang.....from the bottom of me heart...thanx a zillion..merci beaucoup madame.. 



I purchased this to soothe the negative emotions dwelling in me...it's heavenly divine... 



Forlorn

A shard of glass is plunged,
Into the heart it slices,
Till the back is hunched,
A great pain with the hordes of dices.

-Haze


Sorry Fahmy, Jacklyn and gang....especially to my French tutor, Francois and spouse....I can't attend the French exhibition and gathering at Borders just now...I am soo deep in the mountains of work and I am not myself today..too much adversity in life....I am in grief....did not want to show this forlorn face to you guys....so paineddd.......Oh Allah, help me...


On a Poet�s lips

On a poet's lips I slept
Dreaming like a love-adept
In the sound his breathing kept;
Nor seeks nor finds he mortal blisses,
But feeds on the aerial kisses
Of shapes that haunt thought's wildernesses.
He will watch from dawn to gloom
The lake-reflected sun illume
The yellow bees in the ivy-bloom,
Nor heed nor see what things they be;
But from these create he can
Forms more real than living man,
Nurslings of immortality!
One of these awakened me,
And I sped to succour thee.

By Percy Bysshe Shelley