Getting There

How far is it?
How far is it now?
The gigantic gorilla interior
Of the wheels move, they appall me ---
The terrible brains
Of Krupp, black muzzles
Revolving, the sound
Punching out Absence! Like cannon.
It is Russia I have to get across, it is some was or other.
I am dragging my body
Quietly through the straw of the boxcars.
Now is the time for bribery.
What do wheels eat, these wheels
Fixed to their arcs like gods,
The silver leash of the will ----
Inexorable. And their pride!
All the gods know destinations.
I am a letter in this slot!
I fly to a name, two eyes.
Will there be fire, will there be bread?
Here there is such mud.
It is a trainstop, the nurses
Undergoing the faucet water, its veils, veils in a nunnery,
Touching their wounded,
The men the blood still pumps forward,
Legs, arms piled outside
The tent of unending cries ----
A hospital of dolls.
And the men, what is left of the men
Pumped ahead by these pistons, this blood
Into the next mile,
The next hour ----
Dynasty of broken arrows!

How far is it?
There is mud on my feet,
Thick, red and slipping. It is Adam's side,
This earth I rise from, and I in agony.
I cannot undo myself, and the train is steaming.
Steaming and breathing, its teeth
Ready to roll, like a devil's.
There is a minute at the end of it
A minute, a dewdrop.
How far is it?
It is so small
The place I am getting to, why are there these obstacles ----
The body of this woman,
Charred skirts and deathmask
Mourned by religious figures, by garlanded children.
And now detonations ----
Thunder and guns.
The fire's between us.
Is there no place
Turning and turning in the middle air,
Untouchable and untouchable.
The train is dragging itself, it is screaming ----
An animal
Insane for the destination,
The bloodspot,
The face at the end of the flare.
I shall bury the wounded like pupas,
I shall count and bury the dead.
Let their souls writhe in like dew,
Incense in my track.
The carriages rock, they are cradles.
And I, stepping from this skin
Of old bandages, boredoms, old faces

Step up to you from the black car of Lethe,
Pure as a baby.

by Sylvia Plath 



Marcell,exceptional R&B crooner...his hair though scares me..hehe..his song, Semusim, accompanied me through bitter early 2004.......got through over it..THANK GOD...honestly, I am an afficionado of this singer...dunno why...hmm......

SEMUSIM

Semuanya telah terjadi
Cintaku telah pergi
Dan kini ku sendiri
Tanpa dirimu lagi

Tak mudah menepis cerita indah

Semusim telah ku lalui
Telah ku lewati tanpa dirimu
Tetapi bayang wajahmu
Masih tersimpan di hati

Tak pernah kubayangkan
Kau putuskan cintaku
Ku coba tuk melupakan
Semua tentang dirimu

Tak mudah bagiku melupakanmu 



The four of us ambling on the boardwalk nature trail....guess where?......yaaa...it's sure hell of an accurate time to get back to mother nature and reflect on our spiritual needs..and we bumped into squirrels, terrapins,macaques and a myriad of insects....worth working out the sweat..:O) 



An impromptu shot of nature at work 



Constantine...yet another terrific movie from HBO hits...the mega attraction...who else if not for the one I adore besides a couple of other ingenious actors(Johnny Depp,Robin Williams, Mark Ruffalo etc)....Keanu Reeves...he is 42 but incredibly looks young ....hmm...seems I have become an acclimatised couch potato...errrr... 



A lazy Saturday and coincidentally watched a movie on HBO mega hit.....loved it instantly...Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants.....about four close friends who bought a pair of worn out pants from a thrift shop and how the pair of pants kinda link them together when they were separated during the summer vacation...a recount of their individual experiences....haiz....love the breathtaking scenery of a seaside town in Greece...hmmm...a nice short getaway in future(contemplates)..if provided the sufficient finances..ppfftttt  



Mencari Mimpi(Quest for The Dream)

Running on the path a drifter,
On pursuit for a dream,
Through the travails to weather,
Until an eternity to redeem?

-Haze

Action speaks a louder volume than words....let the rather deplorable poem above( I know I am not thinking straight at the moment) express my ruminations when I was waiting for my mother at A&E section of CGH.....it really disturbs me as the tears freely flowed at that moment....or let the song communicate the thoughts....


Pic was taken a few days ago when OH and I visited Thea..her son is now 3 months old I reckon......a closure to Hari Raya visiting as the end of Syawal approaches..as for work...no easy feat...we are slogging for the year end reviews for the various departments.....as for next year, I'm teaching P3...yeah my preferred level....and I am in dire need of funds for the half of next year ..that will be the period when I am on no pay leave..yaaa...the only way is to give tuition...I am rendering my services.....now on the lookout on available tuition assigments.. 



Dread

A feeling of dread,
Travels through my senses,
Everything had been said,
Now to where the spirit glances?

-Haze

I detest a few parents from TNS.They made my life hell....I tried the best that I could but it seems that I could not please everybody...I did not even look into her eyes...kinda diverted my attention to something else....I felt sick at the sight of her...with the thin like frame, stringy deadlike hair and eyes piercing like a hungry predator...yep...Minger's mum..I wished the ground would swallow her up....my hatred for her was increasing by the minute....sheeshh..is it because the colour of my skin?Do you think your daughter is a total angel in class?sheeshhh....her spouse was the same loud mouthed critic...this couple thinks they own the whole school...why does this happen everytime to the others before me?should I rant my dilemma to STU?What is the objective of being in a union and contributing a partial amount of the pay if it could not even back me up?sheeshhh....Ohh Allah!What wrong have I done?


Unpretty

Does appearance matter that much?
When someone makes an impression,
What happens to the inner touch?
to God that is an ultimate selection.

-Haze

Bilal was black...black as the blackest night the eyes could not penetrate.... who was Bilal?... one of Prophet Muhammad's friends..he was the one who did the azan(prayer call)..however, God did not judge him on his looks...it was his deeds...why do I make it a point here....well,there was an anonymous comment that left me thinking...even in the present, people emphasize looks over character...hmm...don't judge me by my facade..yeah I may be sensitive but I am content with the way I am..at least I have the perseverance to study to attain a Bachelor's Degree...there are always flaws in every individual..nobody is perfect..there are always other things that makes up for the flaws don't you all think?..I rest my case..


I simply lurve this pic...ain't she demure looking....me n Aisha...yeah the Gala Dinner...tasteless Chinese cuisines...erggghh...semua Cina aje...kinda mundane.. 



Sheeda,Sab,me n Nisa...a bit distorted image of my face...kinda like the Ring ehh...errr.. 



Nura n me...believe it or not, she's a mother of three boys...we are bosom friends...unlike in my previous school where I was typically lonesome... 



Carnival

The lure of a carnival,
Variety of games and food galore,
A test of immense survival,
What is the extra energy for?

-Haze

Busy as usual....this time around was the TNS carnival....OH dropped by after work...played games and won a lot of prizes....hehehe..in the late evening, Raya visiting to Hus's home.... :O( did not manage to see Atikah, Hus's daughter as she had slept...it's nice to see Hus again.. :O).....next week we are 'serbuing' Thea's home....and that will be the final phase of Raya visiting...hmm


Mari Makan at the TNS Carnival of the Century...it was the only available Malay food stall but the food sold out like hot cakes!.....it was terrific albeit the wrong time to conduct the event amidst churning out the HRC and results... 



The teachers cum stall vendors...this is the only time we could have a breather from our mundane routine of educating....it's tiring but once we immensely revelled in the experience 



Jun n I were gobbling down some cakes lah....uber starving lerr....we were vendors at the only halal food stall at the carnival...